Quick Update on Fundraiser

It was brought to my attention that  people who want to donate are uncomfortable using gofundme and prefer paypal transactions instead. After learning this I have added a paypal button to my blog here. I am still in need of funding for my upright mri in Carmel as well as to keep up on fuel for the numerous appointments I try to keep during this journey. I have the desire to take my family to Heidi Collins in South Bend, Indiana and such funding may just make that possible. If you are unable to donate that's ok! Just having your support means the world to me.

Pain Meds and Me

Pain Medication and Me

I can't decide if I like or hate the pain medication. It seems like we have a love hate relationship going on. I love that I can clean my house and do way more than normal on an average day. There is a lot to catch up on over the many days I was unable. That feeling is overwhelming but knowing I have medication for the days coming gives me hope that I can get caught up and in a decent time frame.

On the other hand, my head feels fuzzy. I feel like I have more irritability and less patience as if that wasn't a problem to begin with! It was. I don't like the idea that I have to pop a pill just to measure up to the ability of the average person. I don't like feeling like my head is fuzzy. I don't like how my body continues to drag as if I am exhausted from the pain I usually feel but am not feeling so much now.

If you are wondering if I am addicted then know that I am not. I have only been on pain meds for 10 days now. I was on them for about 10 years and it was just like this before too. I was on them with xanax too though which not only helped me with my regular anxiety problems but also reduced the increased irritability and loss of patience I am dealing with now. If you are wondering if I am dependent then know that I am. I depend on them to have the abilities of an average person. The pain I deal with everyday is lessoned to the point that I can push through and look like everyone else trying to do so. I will still have my sudden pulled muscle, subluxation, or sprain but not the chronic daily pain keeping me from enjoying life and getting stuff done.

For so many examples we can not just have our cake and eat to too. I am open to any suggestions on this. For now I will remain thankful that I have any treatment and hopeful that I can set new goals and reach them such as gaining new employment with higher pay and more hours.

It is now taking me more time to write my blogs as my semester ended and my college took back the Dragon Naturally Speaking software so I no longer have talk to text. They even do a remote uninstall to make sure it is returned, It will cost me $99 to buy my own personal copy of the software.

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How We Love Hanging Out With Our Friends

Did I ever mention I have a lake in my back yard? 

Well, this is the view from up at our house. It is hard to tell there is a lake back there.

Taking the path that runs along the side of our property reveals the lake close up.

This perfect fishing spot even has room for tents back behind the shot!

If you look really close, you can see the neighbor's boats in the distance.

I love camping, fishing, and all outdoor activities!

But I don't do them.

While everyone is enjoying outdoors on Memorial Day Weekend, I remain indoors creating this blog and grieving for those I have lost and military members who died for our freedom. If you are wondering why on earth I stay cooped up, please let me explain. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome in addition to a two and a nine-year-old child. Check out the view from the lake going back home...

That's a steep path!

No matter if we weed-eat it is still a steep road, but there is an end.

Going to the lake and back one time takes away my spoons for about half a day! Imagine what I would be like if I went back up because I forgot something! (I tried it, so I already know.)

If the spoon mention confuses you, please refer to the spoon theory written here.

This photo helps me illustrate.

If I didn't have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, I would be making out invitations before every holiday and inviting friends and family down to fish at the lake, have dinner, and enjoy each other's company. 

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Racing Days and Kibble Nights

I would love to know what place I got for the marathon I must have ran in my sleep last night. I had a relentless pulled muscle in my inner left thigh that gave me an embarrassing limp at work today. My whole body ached all over. I mean I hurt before I went to bed but isn't sleep supposed to help and not hurt? Not happening with EDS.

My home life didn't get any better when I went to feed the dogs. I filled the puppy feeder and walking back to put it in its place it spilled everywhere. I guess my left wrist couldn't handle the pressure of my right hand putting the lid on it because it gave out on me. Please comment and give me reassurance that a two year old can handle a little kibble in their diet. :(

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Don't Cry Over Spilled milk!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk?

You guessed it! I just bought a gallon of whole milk for my youngest and my wrist gave out and lost it all over the kitchen floor! It looked like a flood. It is not as if it has never happened before. Over the years I have lost countless gallons of milk but today it really got to me. Sometimes my wrist will give out and other times I think I have it on the counter when it was too close to the edge. I had tears.