The Patient Struggle

The Patient Struggle

Medical patients of a chronic illness go through a larger battle than what meets the eye. It is more than time spent to see someone, money given, or even the action of explaining what all issues there are. Sometimes it is devastating to learn that the needed care will only go unattended.

Some people complain daily of debilitating symptoms such as pain, illness, or outright abnormality of the body which is left untreated or minimalized. Recently, I have had such a struggle. It began years ago when I had surgery for a kidney stone that was too big to pass through the urethra. I woke up with a stent reaching into my kidney to help aid passage of remnant stones safely out of my body. The doctor who removed it said, "Oh my! I am so sorry. This stent was defective. There was a hole in it during production, and you will experience an increase in UTIs for the rest of your life." I thought that was alarming. I will now tell you what is worse.

The Patient Struggle

I have had three surgeries for kidney stones in total. Those were just the ones that were too big ever to pass on their own. I would imagine that my kidneys have scar tissue and possibly other lifelong effects of the trauma. A few months ago I had all the symptoms of another UTI. I am waiting for my healthcare to start and go back to the doctor and get more medicine. I was given conditional approval April 11th for May 1st, but they can't find my name on their computer to pay my first premium, and I'm told to wait up to two weeks for that internal investigation. I did say more medicine. The doctor already gave me 3 (three) pills after an appointment that I paid out of pocket for (in addition to the collected bills from that office already). Those three pills took away the pain, but I am left with the fatigue and smell when going to the bathroom. I do hope it is no more than two weeks. Holding onto a UTI for this long cannot be healthy.

I send a shout out to all of the patients struggling to gain healthcare and treatment which are two very different things. I salute your perseverance throughout the fight and hope you know that you are not alone.

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Pain Meds and Me

Pain Medication and Me

I can't decide if I like or hate the pain medication. It seems like we have a love hate relationship going on. I love that I can clean my house and do way more than normal on an average day. There is a lot to catch up on over the many days I was unable. That feeling is overwhelming but knowing I have medication for the days coming gives me hope that I can get caught up and in a decent time frame.

On the other hand, my head feels fuzzy. I feel like I have more irritability and less patience as if that wasn't a problem to begin with! It was. I don't like the idea that I have to pop a pill just to measure up to the ability of the average person. I don't like feeling like my head is fuzzy. I don't like how my body continues to drag as if I am exhausted from the pain I usually feel but am not feeling so much now.

If you are wondering if I am addicted then know that I am not. I have only been on pain meds for 10 days now. I was on them for about 10 years and it was just like this before too. I was on them with xanax too though which not only helped me with my regular anxiety problems but also reduced the increased irritability and loss of patience I am dealing with now. If you are wondering if I am dependent then know that I am. I depend on them to have the abilities of an average person. The pain I deal with everyday is lessoned to the point that I can push through and look like everyone else trying to do so. I will still have my sudden pulled muscle, subluxation, or sprain but not the chronic daily pain keeping me from enjoying life and getting stuff done.

For so many examples we can not just have our cake and eat to too. I am open to any suggestions on this. For now I will remain thankful that I have any treatment and hopeful that I can set new goals and reach them such as gaining new employment with higher pay and more hours.

It is now taking me more time to write my blogs as my semester ended and my college took back the Dragon Naturally Speaking software so I no longer have talk to text. They even do a remote uninstall to make sure it is returned, It will cost me $99 to buy my own personal copy of the software.

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Don't Cry Over Spilled milk!

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk?

You guessed it! I just bought a gallon of whole milk for my youngest and my wrist gave out and lost it all over the kitchen floor! It looked like a flood. It is not as if it has never happened before. Over the years I have lost countless gallons of milk but today it really got to me. Sometimes my wrist will give out and other times I think I have it on the counter when it was too close to the edge. I had tears.